Why Her, Not Me? The Harsh Truth on Why Men Choose The Other Woman
Many women throughout history have been at a loss as to why the man whom they loved, cherished & sacrificed for, totally broke their hearts. For reasons unknown to them, they just broke off the relationship. Not only did they just leave them unexpectedly, in fact,
they left them for another woman!
For a woman in love, this has to be one of the most devastating events she could ever endure in her life. This type of betrayal shakes a woman to the core, often times breaking her spirit in the process. This type of thing many times leaves a woman psychologically scarred and unable to trust another man ever again.
Although it may seem to many women in relationships that the man has just absconded without any rhyme or reason whatsoever, from the man’s perspective however, there is always a reason. That reason is rarely communicated to a woman with any real sense of clarity. In some cases, many times men will give no explanation at all which is the absolute worst thing a man could do!
This blog aims to provide women from all socioeconomic, religious and racial backgrounds, the harsh truth about why so many men leave a seemingly good relationship with a woman to take up a relationship with another woman.
This 5 part blog is intended to shed light on the biggest and most mysterious question a woman can ever ask herself in her lifetime as it relates to relationships: WHY HER; NOT ME!
Truth Part One: He Doesn’t See The Long Term Value in You
Ok ladies! Here we go! We’re going to cut straight to the chase on this topic and be brutally honest. Please know that it is not my intent to insult you as the female reader or to hurt your feelings. Chances are that if you are reading this book, you or someone you know has already been painfully hurt and heartbroken. The brutal truth is that many times the reasons men decide to leave a woman are not really that deep. These decisions often times wreak of a man being shallow, self-centered and self-serving. However, it is also important to recognize that this is really how a mass majority of folks, both women and men operate on a daily basis. It just hurts more when it’s you that becomes the victim of a blindsided decision to breakup.
Of course every person has some value and redeeming qualities about them. The key is for both men and women to find that compatible person in whom they both see the value in each other and see how it works to the advantage of both people. One of the main reasons that many men will leave the relationship for another woman is because that other woman gives him something that he deems more valuable to his life and long term goals. What is value from a man’s perspective as it pertains to a relationship you ask? Here are a few main examples. (1) If a woman cannot bear children or makes a conscious decision not to have children for a man in a relationship, (especially a young man with no kids) she will many times be devalued by that man and on many occasions, left for a woman who can or is willing to provide that man with a family. In some extreme cases, a man may choose to stay in the relationship with you but decide to have a child with another woman outside of your relationship. I always say to women that I encounter that although times are changing rapidly in society for the better for you and old traditions may be fading fast, many men are not necessarily changing with you and going along with the “new flow”. (2) You’re a Liability! Everything with you is drama! You can’t save money! You spend too much money on non-essentials! You can’t make a house a home! In other words, you ain’t bringing shit to the table! You may not realize it but, you just giving up the cookie ain’t really enough to keep a man. Especially a REAL man! A real man as I state in my first book, How To Attract a REAL Man; 10 Qualities Men Look For in a Woman requires for that woman to understand his vision. A good woman can add something tangible and valuable to the relationship that a man can use and feel good about in his life. In return, that woman will benefit also. Every day I seem to ask myself the same questions. Are men and women going in completely opposite directions with regards to love and relationships? Has the successful, independent, and ambitious woman totally given up on marriage and so called traditional love? Have men totally lost faith in finding that good woman with whom he can start a family and create the Huxtable lifestyle he’d always envisioned? With the onslaught of reality TV programming the minds of both men and women seven days a week, it is not a stretch to suggest that reality TV may be having an adverse effect on normal relationships between regular people thus, diminishing the value a man sees in making a serious commitment to a woman. The number one issue in most relationships revolve around finances so to most men, finding a woman of value is paramount.
The “lux lifestyle” being depicted on shows like Atlanta Housewives, The Kardashians, Shahs of Sunset, Mob Wives etc., create unrealistic expectations on regular, hardworking guys to provide women with a lifestyle most cannot afford or maintain. The pressure to provide a “ballerific lifestyle”, the big house, luxury cars, Louis Vuitton bags & exotic trips create angst, frustration, and resentment amongst many men just looking to live a simple but quality life. In many cases, reality TV has created a quid pro quo within relationships. In other words, money for sex or an exchange for services rendered. My advice for those who indulge too much in reality TV and on a regular basis is to be very careful of living in a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations. Although a small handful of women can and will attain the “lux life”, it’s best to pursue a quality relationship with a man based around common interests, commitment, trust, love & faith.
I would encourage every woman to look in the mirror and give themselves a thorough self-analysis. Look at what your true value is and see how you can use those winning attributes to your advantage while benefiting the man you want to have as your own. Once you can establish your true value, the chances of maintaining a successful relationship increases.
About The Author
Bey Bright is an author, lecturer, relationship consultant & musician. Driven by a passion to motivate, educate and entertain people, Bey has put his life experiences, talents and analyses into creative pursuits that aim to assist people in their life’s journey.
For more information about Bey Bright and additional products from Bright Vision Entertainment, please visit www.BeyBrightInc.com and connect with him on social media via Facebook (Bright Vision Entertainment) IG- BrightVision29 and Twitter @BeyBrightNYC